Postpartum Depression

of the baby, and people are paying a lot more attention to him or her than to vow. Your own desires must be put aside. Your new respon­sibilities may seem weighty. Keep in mind that men can experience similar depressions related to birth, too!

During the last part of pre^gnancy, you were functioning primarily on an emotional level. The moodiness and other feelings can last a while after birth, too. They are part of an important process ⁱⁿ learning to feel compassion for the baby. If you feel vulner­able, it's easier to relate to the infinite vul­nerability of the new baby. When giving birth, there are some risks in the situation, even if everything is apparently going smoothly. You are forced to confront your own mortality and to give yourself over to forces you cannot control and people you may not know very well. This can make anyone feel vulnerable!

WHAT IS POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION?

Having children triggers difficult feelings for many women. You might have trouble sleeping; become irritable, restless, and anxious; and develop an overwhelming need to cry. About half of all women who have recently given birth experience some postpartum blues. Interestingly, researchers haven't been able to find any clear differ­ences in the hormone levels of women who do get severe postpartum tears and women who don't. For most new mothers, the weepiness will disappear after a few days. If it lasts considerably longer, it's called postpartum depression.

WHY AM I DEPRESSED WHEN MY LIFE IS SO GOOD?

Feeling overwhelmed and "depressed" can be a natural reaction to giving birth. Your life has changed deeply, permanently, and quickly. Suddenly, life is ruled by the needs

 their concern to help make things better, they might tell you to pull yourself together and look positively at the situation. Unfortunately, their attempts to "fix things" might just make you feel guilty. Try very hard to remember that your feelings are scary, but are probably normal. Try, too, to find someone willing to listen to your feelings, and help you under­stand how to grow from the experience.

It doesn't help that your sleep is disrupted when you have a new baby. Many new moth­ers feel terrible when the baby is struggling to learn that night is night. And, it's easier for conflicts in partnerships to begin when both people are suffering from lack of sleep. Everyone will need time and space to adjust to the new situation.

A change of consciousness sometimes takes place. Many women — and men —experience it very strongly during and right after birth. It's often described as "time stand­ing still," "time and space disappearing," or "being in a different world." You may feel like you're losing all your reference points to yourself, or you don't really know who you are. Comfort yourself in the fact that it is not a sign that you've "gone crazy"... it can be a very positive experience, in fact. You may feel that you value life more, and take the trouble to maintain relationships with other people.

A lot of the time, life seems pretty ideal, but the new mother struggles with postpartum blues for weeks and months. You might feel defeated... "I should be happy ..... "I wanted a child"... "I have everything I want"... but blam­ing yourself only makes the depression worse.

So, what gives rise to such emotions when everything is seemingly fine? We've seen that different conditions can cause women — and men — to face unknown parts of themselves. Birth brings us feelings of greatness and wonder. This may be overwhelming and, unable to use words, tears may become the only expression.

WHY IS MY FAMILY MAKING ME FEEL EVEN WORSE?

If you think about it, it makes sense that other people might not understand your con­dition. Your family probably feels helpless. In

THE NEED FOR THERAPY

If you feel that your problems are becom­ing too difficult to solve, you should talk to an outsider as soon as possible. Sometimes all that's needed is to talk it out! The earlier you face the crisis, the sooner you can under­stand the pain and move on. Various doctors, therapists, counselors, clinics, and support groups are available to help new parents. Don't be ashamed to use them— that's why they're there! Time, patience, and having good help available is usually the best medi­cine. And remember, feeling deeply can help you be more sensitive to yourself and others.